Epic Mario
by Master Pencil
Summary: Long ago, Mario's mischief caused a once brilliant world for forgotten Nintendo characters to become a wasteland. Now, Mario has been taken there by the fearsome Shadow Blot, and Mario must prove that he can become an epic hero to a forgotten world.
1. Chapter 1 The Tale Begins

**Epic Mario**

**By Master Pencil**

Mario lied asleep one sunny morning, snoozing away as a book titled Thru the Pipe laid on his belly. He had read the book the night before until he fell into his slumber. Suddenly, his eyes opened, and he saw a green pipe on top of his cupboard, just as it appeared on the book cover. Intrigued, the famous plumber approached the strange sight, and jumped on top of the cupboard to touch the pipe. It reverberated as though it was made of water.

"Mama Mia," he mumbled. "How did this-a pipe get in my room?"

His curiosity increased, and he stepped inside to find himself in another room. It was not certain if the pipe which had come into Mario's room was being mischievous or malicious. At any rate, Mario crept down the short hallway, seeing an opening into something like a workshop that had Japanese decor. It was confirmed when he looked around the corner to see an old sorcerer putting the finishing touches on a model on a table. Wearing robes of red and white, he had a long beard and wrinkles of wisdom on his face, and, unaware to Mario, he was the powerful sorcerer of all Nintendo, the great Odnet Nin.

Taking a magic brush and dipping it in paint, he made a circular motion around the model, dripping paint onto it. It flashed with magic, and smoke was raised to make the model appear bright and colorful. Several landmarks were scattered around this model, the setup of a kingdom that would make a haven for characters long forgotten. A castle stood in the center of it all, strangely similar to the castle of Princess Peach. Smiling, the old sorcerer was satisfied with his work and dipped the brush in thinner to dispel the paint. After making a yawn, he retired to his chambers, and Mario came out once he was up the stairs. He picked up the brush and inspected it carefully.

"Such a nice-a little brush," he muttered quietly. "Wonder what I can-a do with it?"

He thought for a moment, and then dipped it in paint to test its grace with a few swings over the model, dripping droplets of paint here and there. It felt powerful swinging such a thing, and he continued doing this motion until an odd blot of ink appeared before him.

"Huh?" he said. "That-a thing looks strange!"

He dripped more paint on it to make it change, and it then morphed itself up to the ceiling where it developed green eyes and horns. Mario cringed at the frightening sight, with the being's green eyes glaring down on him. It roared at its creator, and, while panicking, Mario hastily tried to contain the beast with paint and thinner. A bottle of thinner was spilled, and Mario used it to spill its contents on the blot. It roared with surprised at the onslaught, and the big mess the plumber was making created a vortex on top of the model.

The commotion caused Odnet Nin to awaken from his sleep and come down the stairs, his shadow coming ever closer. The bottle that was spilled was left on its side as Mario dashed out of the workshop, turning over a chair and running through the pipe to arrive safely back in his room. When the sorcerer came into the scene, he was too late, for the mess Mario caused had ruined his model and the vortex consumed its center like a disaster. He did not see that the blot secretly drifted into the world along with the bottle.

For many years Odnet Nin never knew who the intruder was, and he would not for a long time since. Mario went on to venture on countless adventures and earn worldwide fame, enjoying a stellar status that made him forget all about the incident. He battled a girl-stealing ape, saved the Mushroom Kingdom for the first time, met new friends and enemies, explored new dimensions, participated in countless sports and kart racing tournaments, and even fought with other characters from other lands. Then something happened one morning that Mario least expected.

He was sleeping on his bed just as he did so long ago, but now he was in a hotel room at the Smash Bros hotel, a place where fighters stayed to rest before participating in a Super Smash Bros tournament. A few drops of ink splattered on his blanket, and something hovered above him. He awakened to find something like that from a nightmare. A pipe on his wall had two long, inky arms stretch over him, and the hands grasped Mario and pulled him from his bed.

"What's-a going on here? Somebody help me!" he wailed.

He continued to scream and cry out as the slimy hands dragged him through the pipe and right into Odnet Nin's workshop, where a vortex awaited on the model that was by now totally corrupted. Splashing onto it, Mario bobbed up and down helplessly as he tried to grab for anything, everything to hold to, and he managed to nab a brush before being pulled down. Blobs of ink and thinner were all around the struggling Mario as he entered the very fabric of the kingdom. Frustrated, he pulled as hard as he could on the creature's grasp, and then the monster let go. It unfurled itself into an ugly, black, and demonic blot, roaring at the plumber with a large mouth and blazing green eyes.

"Mama Mia! Why did you bring me here?" demanded Mario.

Suddenly, he and the Blot collided into one another. They were a spinning comet of ink, plummeting down into the grounds of a castle. _Splat! _The landing left Mario dazed on the ground, the ink pooled around him. The Blot, relieved, drifted upward and made a long moan. Everything slowly blacked out for Mario.

…

When he came to, he saw a strange mechanical device hovering above him. Lighting was cracking through the sky, and the Blot flew around the air laughing at his adversary. But someone else was in the area too. It was a purple alien named Tatanga, rubbing his arms and sniggering with delight. From around the corner came a strange character that Mario did not see, a character that looked very similar to himself except he had stylized overalls and a laser gun at his side. He snuck around the corner, eyeing the alien that was going to activate his device.

"At last, I have finally gotten hold on Mario himself!" exclaimed Tatanga,

With a tug of the switch, the machine that was hanging over Mario extended a eye from one of its stalks to examine him. The eye looked up at down at Mario's chest, and then Tatanga cranked the switch to make the machine extend scissors.

"Hey, don't-a try to dissect me!" said Mario, trying desperately to pull away from the snapping scissors.

"That might not cut it," grumbled the alien, taking the switch to control it.

The machine tried to use a drill, but again Mario fought against the noisy object. Understanding that this specimen was not going to cooperate, Tatanga used another more forceful alternative.

The machine then turned out a chain saw, shook it to start it, and lowered the buzzing blade down toward Mario. Terrified, the plumber pulled with all his might on his bonds, fearful of the furious chain saw. Tatanga took delight in Mario's uncomfortable position, rubbing his hands together in anticipation.

"Looks as though I need to use this instead," the alien muttered, pulling the switch to a skull and crossbones symbol.

The machine withdrew its chain saw and replaced it with a simple plunger, bringing it down on Mario's chest to begin pulling on him. His pulse quickened, and deep inside his chest, the plumber's heart pumped hard. All looked lost, the machine's power seemed too great. Tatanga, in seeing Mario's helplessness, laughed with delight.

Suddenly, his switch began malfunctioning. The alien gasped at the sight, then stared bewildered at what his victim was doing. Mario was bursting through his bonds, and after seizing the plunger from his chest and glaring at his tormentor, threw the plunger at Tatanga and hit him right in the face. An embarrassing moment of shaking the plunger off gave Mario enough time to get off his table and stand on the ground.

"You're not-a gonna opearate on me, alien!" said Mario.

Tatanga took a glance at the sky and laughed, for the Blot noticed what Mario was doing and slammed to the ground. Seeing the fearsome monster tower over him, Mario took the only thing he saw nearby, a paintbrush he had taken with him from the outside world, and pointed it at the Blot.

"Stand-a back, you!" he exclaimed.

On seeing the brush, the Blot fearfully paused and quickly sprung to the sky. Tatanga, still laughing uproariously, noticed the Blot's disappearance and stopped.

"Huh?" he said. "The Blot was scared of you?"

He turned to the switch and thought up an idea.

"Oh, well, I guess that takes care of that! Good bye for now, Mario!" said Tatanga.

With a tug of the switch, the alien dropped down a trapdoor and was away. That was when both Mario and the Mario-like character saw each other. One gasped and the other was surprised. The unknown character looked on sheepishly and Mario watched with keen intrest.

"Oh, hello there," mumbled the character.

"Huh, he-a looks like me," whispered Mario.

The character approached the switch, and began tugging it. In his attempt to turn the machine off, he was too forceful and yanked the switch crane off. A pained expression crossed his face and a massive burst of electricity shot out of the contraption. The machine fidgeted and clicked until its examining eye turned its color to red and set its sights on the character.

"Mama Mia!" he exclaimed, jumping out of the way to narrowly avoid a slicing chain saw.

Drills bore and scissors snapped at the character as he jumped and ran away, his laser gun spinning on his belt. When he sought refuge, the machine turned around and sat its sights on Mario, its single, red eye staring at the plumber ominously.

"Over here, you big bucket of bolts!" yelled a deep voice.

Mario, who was standing frigidly at the awful sight of the machine, turned toward the direction of the yell. A small man with a mustache wearing brown and blue overalls and red balloons on his back was floating on a beam, serving as bait for the machine.

"I'm right here!" he taunted.

The machine tried to get him, but he had floated away at super speed at the last second.

"Hurry, Mario, over here!" the man called. "Try to avoid the machine's light!"

Seeing the little man standing behind a rectangular machine, Mario ran away from the machine's searching light. He came to a stop once he was safely with the control machine.

"Use a spin move on this control box to weaken the arm," advised the man.

Mario obeyed and broke the machine, causing the main machine to shake with disturbed electricity and stop to catch its program. It snapped out of its damaged state and reverted to tracking the plumber, who was going over to the side of the lab to get to the other box.

"Destory this and that mechanical arm will be shut down!" said the little man.

Mario made a strong spin move on it to make sure it was done, and the machine finally struggled for the last time before hanging its eye and arms down with defeat.

"Finally, that's-a that!" said Mario, sighing with relief.

"When you're done looking around, we can get out of here," said the little man, floating by the main door.

Mario decided to take a look around Tatanga's lab since he was not menaced by a machine anymore. The most striking sight in the lab was a big stained glass portrait of the Mario character wearing a crown and holding a sword at his side. His face showed authority, and his signature laser gun was at his side. There were also stained glass windows of Ganondorf, Bowser, and Medusa on each side of the lab. Gargoyles of Rambi the rhino, Kraid the guardian of Planet Zebes, Ridley the space pirate, and Gao the fire-breathing lion lined the hall to the castle interior. Scattered statues of the Mario character were along the walls, and even a bust of Donkey Kong hung on a wall, holding a candle stick.

"That's-a strange," mumbled Mario.

He turned to leave the lab, and the balloon man cracked the door open and floated inside.

"I-a have to get outta here," said Mario. "I was pulled in-a here by that ink monster."

"You mean the Shadow Blot?" said the little man. "Yeah, he is a mean one."

"Who are-a you anyway?" asked Mario.

"Oh, I didn't introduce myself," said the little man. "I'm Bill the Balloon Fighter. I just happened to be caught here in Black Peach Castle myself. I escaped and got here just in time to see the Mysterious Spaceman trying to get at your heart. That was a close one there!"

Mario had to agree, and he and his new friend wandered down the twisting hallway that would lead to the castle courtyard. Bill instructed Mario how to use the brush, from using paint to form objects to thinner for erasing objects. He also told him that he could also use both in one situation, and it was clear when Mario thinned a toon floor to open the pathway and painted it back that he was going to be doing this much more in the near future.

The castle's gloomy atmosphere was no different in the courtyard. Two statues of Gao stood on each side of the courtyard entrance. A banner of Ganondorf in his dark beast form hung from the wall high above, and ramps led up to a walkway. Behind a gate with the Mario character's stern face at the other end of the yard, the Mario character was looking at Mario and Bill, and he then twirled his laser gun and stomped his feet in frustration. Bill saw him before he ran away.

"Was that Mario over there?" he said.

"What do you-a mean? I'm-a Mario!" said Mario.

"It's a long story," said Bill. "But we don't have the time right now, we need to spin those gears in place."

Before they could move, a thinner eyeball developed from a pipe nearby.

"Uh, oh!" said Mario.

"Seers," said Bill. "Part of the Shadow Blot's troops. Better be careful around them so they don't see us and bring in reinforcements!"

Mario tip-toed away from the seer to the ramp and managed to go undetected, and then he made his way up to the gear and spun it to use. He noticed blue and green balls zipping around in the air, and Bill explained that they were Tints and Turps, known as guardians in Wasteland. Part of the gate's lock was loose, and Mario went to the other side of the room and spun another gear to open the door fully.

With careful jumping, Mario came back down and entered the new opening, seeing a strange thing before him. A TV screen was running, with the title screen of Super Mario Bros. 3 being shown.

"I-a saw that Mario character go through this thing," said Mario.

"That's a TV screen," said Bill. "They're Wasteland's mode of transportation from place to place. Try to jump on in."

Mario steadied himself first, and then he took the jump to the screen. He went in, and the screen shook like a pool of water. Before he knew it, Mario found himself in a tower that went up to the sky, and the environment looked like it came right from the game. It was the tower that he had went up in World 5 in Super Mario Bros. 3. Thinking about it put a smile on Mario's face, and he felt a nostalgic feeling.

"Just like-a old times," he said.

Here he put his fine platforming abilities to good use, jumping from cloud to cloud, avoiding thomps, and climbing up a long vine to the pipe that he thought would take him to the Sky Kingdom, but it instead took him to another TV screen. He guessed that he was going to the next destination, and jumped in to see where his new adventure will take him next.


	2. Chapter 2 It's a Small Nintendo World

Chapter 2 It's a Small Nintendo World

When Mario jumped through the exiting TV screen, he landed into a dark area that was a tunnel with pipes and wheels. The TV screen fizzled with staic behind him, no longer able to be used. A balloon fighter was nearby working on one of the wheels on the wall. Bill, happy to see a fellow balloon fighter, floated up to him.

"Hey, it's Balloon Fighter Trent!" said Bill. "How are you doing?"

"Fine, Bill," replied the younger balloon fighter. "I've been working on these wheels to open the door over there."

A large metal door sealed the tunnel, and it appeared Trent had been trapped in here and was trying to get out. Bill seemed to be impressed by how detailed the door looked.

"Now that's a door!" said Bill. "Definitely balloon fighter construction."

"Would you help me paint in those wheels, Mario?" asked Trent to the plumber. "Just don't break the one in the middle that I've been working on."

"Sure, I can do-a it!" said Mario.

He went over to the invisible wheels and pointed his brush at them. A steady stream of paint came from thin air and trailed from the tip of the brush to the two spots where the wheels were. Once they were both filled in, the metal door opened and spilt half into the ground and the other into the ceiling, revealing a long tunnel full of vents and more pipes. An odd creature perked up with surprise at what happened, and ran away from the scene.

"That looked like a spatter over there," said Bill. "Look at those leaking pipes!"

One pipe in particular was blowing hot air in Mario's path. He and his balloon fighter friend approached it cautiously and stopped.

"You'll have to fill all of these steam pipes to get out of here," said Bill.

"No problem," said Mario. "I'm-a plumber after all!"

Being a plumber, he found the tunnel strangely familiar. If it was not for all the hot air and unstable floors, this place would have looked like something out of the Mario Bros arcade game, minus the crabs and flies. Mario made sure that he could use paint and thinner the best way he could, for his safety depended on it. One touch of the blowing air and Mario would have been pushed backwards. Fortunately, the skilled jumper had no issues avoiding the danger spots and the air itself, and he had made it to a wooden wheel.

"Be careful here!" said Bill. "Paint some of those missing platforms to make it across."

Mario took his advice and painted a missing part to ride on. The opening to the other tunnel came and Mario entered to contiue. However, just as he did that, a door snapped shut behind him.

"Wait, that wasn't supposed to happen," said Bill. "Do you think this a trap?"

"Well, if it-a wasn't a trap, then it would've been-a still open, right?" said Mario.

A pipe in the tunnel leaked a blob of ink, and a spatter formed.

"It _is _a trap!" exclaimed Bill. "And now a spatter has leaked in here!"

The spatter, which is an ugly creature with orange eyes, sharp teeth, and a bump on its head that is shaped like Mario's hat, attacked. Mario jumped on the enemy immediately, spraying a potent amount of thinner to make it turn green. The creature refused to give up the fight, and tried to deal Mario a head-butt until it absorbed too much thinner and melted away like cheese in a microwave. Just as soon as it dissipated, another spatter battered through a pipe grate and stumbled into the tunnel.

"Just as I thought," growled Bill. "Spatters are rarely solitary creatures."

Mario was on it like a cat on a toy, and the spatter was too slow to escape from Mario's damaging thinner. The enemy bloated up with all the green liquid inside him and pathetically melted away, its eyes rolling off onto the floor below. Once its contents had dissipated, Mario relaxed and Trent appeared to check for a way out.

"All the steam pipes are filled up, so all I have to do is open the door," said Trent.

When he did that, the door opened to reveal the Mario character peeping inside. He had been the one that trapped Mario and Bill in the tunnel, and now he was stomping his feet in frustration once again. He made a face, and then he ran away toward the distant boat ride.

Mario and Bill entered the new unlocked area, and found out that there was more than just a boat ride. Two other rides were on the right and left side of the area, but they appeared to not be working correctly. The one on the right, a flying yoshi ride, was standing still except for a stray winged yoshi being jittery. The one on the left, a ride with spinning Poke ball seats, was going too fast for riders to enjoy. The boat ride at the end of the area appeared to be heading to the inside of a colorful building, but it was the ticket booth with a distressed balloon fighter that caught Mario's attention.

"Hey, you!" cried the balloon fighter. "Help me! These blotlings have me captured!"

Seers and spatters surrounded the ticket booth, heckling the balloon fighter inside. Mario rushed to his rescue, spraying thinner on any blotling nearby. The seers set off their alarms to alert other spatters in the area, but Mario thinned them out before they could come. He used the spin move a few times to get the spatters off his back, and then he let them have it with thinner.

"Make sure you take out the others too!" said the balloon fighter.

The stray spatters were roaming around the grounds past bush figures of Yoshi and the other Mario. Mario's attack caught them with surprise, and they were quickly taken out by the power of the brush. With all the blotlings defeated, the balloon fighter named Teddy was free to leave the ticket booth.

"Thanks for your help!" said Teddy. "I'll start up the Donkey Kong Country boat ride for you."

As soon as the doors to the boat ride opened, Mario and Bill saw the other Mario ride one of the boats to the ride's interior.

"There goes that Mario!" said Bill. "Come on, let's get on one of these boats."

"His-a running around from me is-a getting a little annoying," said Mario.

"All you can do is catch up," said Bill. "He's a very talented person like yourself."

The boat was taken down the thinner river along with the other boats. The plumber and balloon fighter went around a bend and found themselves in a room cluttered with boats. A door with a dark face of the Mario character cut off the river from the rest of the ride, resulting in a major block-up.

"Well, this ride hasn't been fixed at all!" said Bill with disgust. "We'll have to fix those pipes on the walls, they'll release the locks on that door over there. On second thought, painting those hippos would do the trick too."

"I'll-a paint the hippos," said Mario.

So he went to the rising and falling forms of thinner-spraying hippos and painted in their heads. As he did this, a bizarre remix of the Donkey Kong Country Jungle Hijinx music played in the background with pops and whistles. Bill stood waiting near the Tiki gate, watching Mario fill in the hippos. The restoring paint finally got the last hippo, and the music stopped to Mario's relief. The door cracked open and the boats slid out one after the other. Mario jumped onto one and rode into the next part of the river. He jumped off to land in front of a strange frog with a fat belly. Suddenly, a bone-chilling noise was heard.

"What's that noise?" said Bill.

It sounded like Donkey Kong trying to mimic a bull frog's croak, and it unnerved Mario to say the least. A fern was lowered into the thinner river and a boat seemed to float out as normal as it would. But just a few feet ahead of it, a whirlpool formed, and the swirling thinner forced the boat to spin around in its hold. With its hold complete, it sucked the boat right in to the bottom of the river.

"What if we stayed on that for too long?" said Bill.

"I-a don't want to know where we would've gone," said Mario, shaken.

Bill looked ahead and saw more trouble ahead. A sweeper, shaped like a koopa troopa, carried a bucketful of thinner and was using it to thin out surrounding plants.

"Uh, oh, a Sweeper," whispered Bill. "They're trouble. They can throw bucketfuls of thinner at you. And if you get too close, they try to sweep you off the platform, hence the name, "Sweeper."

"Great, not another of-a those blotling-a jerks," said Mario.

He walked forward to confront the sweeper, but noticed that a big hippo animatronic had its mouth open, and a silver card was in it.

"Hey, what's-a this?" he said.

"That's a hanafuda card!" said Bill. "That is Wastland's currency, you should really collect some!"

Mario figured that it was only common sense to get as much currency in a land that used it as much as possible, and he pocketed the card. By now, the sweeper had noticed the plumber, and was heaving thinner in his direction. Glaring, Mario charged forward and decided to get rough with the pesky blotling. He executed a punishing spin attack on it, and it went spinning into the thinner river. As it melted, the sweeper made a cry that sounded like a koopa troopa making a gurgling noise. Mario turned around to a wall with weak paint and thinned it out to see a new room. A metal cage kept a frantic balloon fighter inside, the captive trying to pound the glass and call for help.

"That looks like Balloon Fighter Bob!" said Bill. "We should go release him!"

Mario agreed, and spin attacked the cage to break it and free the balloon fighter. Spinning around, he quickly inflated three new balloons to sustain him, and he floated in the air to address his rescuer.

"Balloon Fighter Bob at your service!" said Bob. "Balloon Fighters Hector, Gabe, and Ethan are still caged up somewhere. Find them, and we'll help you out as best as we can!"

He rose up in the air and floated out of sight in a flash. Mario painted a nearby gear to make it go up in the air. When he saw a few missing gears that moved the platforms, he painted one in and jumped it to thin it out so he could keep it balanced. He did this for the rest of the gears until he reached the upper catwalks. He scanned the area and saw two caged balloon fighters, spatters dressed up like apes, and large dolls of Donkey Kong and Diddy Kong.

"I-a better get to that one over there," mumbled Mario.

He jumped in between a few holes in the walls and broke the cage containing one of the balloon fighters. Hector thanked Mario and offered to help him somewhere down the line. Mario hopped onto a wooden bridge to startle a spatter and wetted him down with paint. Now bright blue, the spatter gave Mario a friendly wave and then walked around aimlessly. Smiling, Mario rescued the next balloon fighter, Gabe, and he told him that he was going to help him sometime soon.

"What are they-a going to do, Bill?" asked Mario.

"You'll see sometime soon," said Bill. "We balloon fighters always try to help back."

That turned out to be true when after Mario rescued Balloon Fighter Ethan near a giraffe, the four balloon fighters helped Mario get past a spot with a group of pesky sweepers. By turning the wheels, they sent the enemies falling into the thinner and even opened the door for Mario to contiue. He was now clear to enter a short hallway with steam covering a series of gears.

"Well, there's no going back now," said Bill. "I wonder how we can get through here?"

"Maybe it's-a this plate over here," suggested Mario.

He stood on a plate with pink circles, and the steam stopped blowing. Sensing a limited time, Mario rushed to spin on all the wheels, one after the other. When he spun the last one, the door opened, and something happened that flabbergasted Mario so much that he was almost struck dumb. Bowser himself walked in, but something was different about him. He was dressed up like a girl! Wearing the tierra of Princess Peach, two locks of Princess Zelda's hair hanging at the sides of his head, and a grossly oversized Princess Daisy dress, he was something to see. This koopa king, known as Small Bowser, ignored the look on Mario's face and started talking.

"Well, now, you're the famous Mario! Let's see if you're the goody two-shoes everyone thinks you are!" he said. "I used to get along with those balloon fighters, only had to knock them around on occasion. Then the _one_ time I wreck my boat in their river, they think I'm some kind of villain. Of course, I don't give two hoots what they think, but it_ was _an accident. I couldn't get in their village to explain... hmmm... I think they might let you. Find my ship's log and come see me soon, or sooner if you know what's good for you!"

With that, the bizarre character stomped back to where he came, and Mario snapped out of his trance once he was gone. He could have bantered to Bill about Bowser going crazy, but decided to hold it when he came into the new area. It was huge, and it housed a room full of eveything cute. They had left the Donkey Kong section and entered the Kirby one. A large building simlar to King Dedede's castle stood at the center, and Mario and Bill could make out a caged balloon fighter on top.

"Balloon Fighter Brad came here last time to fix a bridge," said Bill. "Maybe he'll have an idea what Small Bowser was complaining about."

"I-a hope so!" said Mario. "Bowser's princess kidnapping has-a finally gone to his head!"

"You've just seen a few characters of Wasteland, Mario," said Bill. "It'll get more intresting later on."

The laser gun-toting Mario was all the way over on the other end of the ride, sticking his tongue at his pursuers. He turned around and qucikly ran inside a door adorned with a picture of Kirby, and Bill saw a fleeting glance of a TV screen showing the way out.

But Mario had crossed the bridge and used paint on the two spatters dressed up like Kirby to befriend them. With them out of the way, Mario scaled the moderately sized King Dedede castle and freed Balloon fighter Brad on top. He was happy to start up the boat ride around the Kirby section for Mario.

"I see you're not a partner of Small Bowser!" said Brad. "I'll start up the boats so it'll make exploring here a lot easier. Be sure to fix the fire bridge while you're at it. It's the only way to navigate here."

Mario took the jump onto the boat ride, and saw that another trapped balloon fighter was left on top of a platform with spinning Kirbys. The plumber jumped off and smashed the statues to reach Balloon Fighter Jack, who offered hanafuda cards for a treasure. Mario declined the offer and rode on another boat ride to reach the gears that powered the fire bridge.

Similar to the gears he used before, Mario filled them in and something unexpected happened. A huge, puppet-like model of Dyna Blade soared into the area, screeching harshly and more than made up the distance to the locked door leading out of the Kriby section.

"Look! The fire bridge!" cheered Bill. "Now we can reach the top of the temple!"

"Good, I-a want out of this Kirby boat ride!" said Mario. "Kirby and-a thinner make an odd-a combination!"

He hopped on top of the huge bird and ran across to the Kirby door. Seeing that it was locked, he saw a flower rising up and down and jumped on it when it came down. It raised him up to the two steps on each side of the door. Mario jumped on one to bring it down, and then the other to loosen the lock. The Kirby door opened to reveal the concealed TV screen.

"You did it! Now we can move on." said Bill.

Mario approached the TV screen and saw that the title of Super Mario Bros was being shown. He steadied himself, and Mario then jumped into the screen to enter the transporting level.

He found himself in World 1-1 of the original Super Mario Bros in all of its 8-bit glory. There was the blue sky, the glaring goombas, the scrolling koopa troopas, and the brick ground. Although the enemies were not real, Mario knew that he could still be damaged if he hit them on their sides, so he took them out with a simple jump on the head, flattening them and causing them to disappear. He came across one of the pipes that he knew would lead to a special room full of coins, but he was disappointed to feel that he could not go there. He contiued on at any rate, and saw the familar stairs. Excitement building in him, he jumped up them and used all of his bouncy energy to leap off the last step and snag the flagpole on top.

Still clinging to the flagpole, Mario slid down it with the skull flag and the level clear music played. Going inside the small castle, 8-bit fireworks burst in the sky and Mario found a TV screen awaiting him.

...

Mario jumped out of the TV screen to arrive at the hallway leading to what appeared to be a village. He walked out and saw a village that was anything but peaceful.

"Oh, my gosh, Mario!" cried Bill. "My village... it's a mess! Those pipes are blowing steam everywhere! And my house is ruined! Please save our village!"

The panicking balloon fighter floated off to the spot where his house used to be, now invisible in front of a constant spray of thinner. Balloon fighters all around were scrambling to contain the mess, but Mario was right on it, filling in the pipes in the center of the village with paint to stop the steam. Once that was done, he rushed to the wheel and spun it to stop the thinner spraying Bill's house.

"Oh, look," said Bill. "The rides have started up again. It might be hard getting around on them, but I have faith in you."

The two rides of Balloon Fighter Village, a flying ride with magic carpets from Super Mario Bros 2 and a flying ride with Pilotwings airplanes were raised up and spinning around like any normal amusement park attraction would do.

"Now you can help restore my house," muttered Bill.

"That-a won't be hard!" replied Mario.

Since a balloon fighter's house is small, Mario sprayed the invisible spot once and the house instantly came back. Bill tended to the pipes, using a wrench to knock them into place.

"I can't thank you enough!" said Bill. "Me and the balloon fighters will never forget what you did for us!"

The pipes helped make the local windmill work again.

Now with order restored, the village had calmed down. Mario, remembering what Small Bowser had said about a ship's log, turned to where he thought would be a river. Sure enough, a stalled waterfall was nearby, and on top of it was a modest boat stuck at its spot. Mario took skillful timing to jump through the airplane ride and came on the deck. There was a chest on the end of the boat, and he went there to open it and find a key. Using this key, he went to the door at the ship cabin and opened it. Inside was another chest holding nothing but Small Bowser's ship log.

"There it is! Small Bowser's ship log!" said Bill.

"He'll-a be happy when I give this to-a him," said Mario.

The only business that remained to be done was the village clock tower. Walking amongst the small houses, the plumber and his balloon fighter friend arrived at a TV screen standing at the clock tower's front, and it had the title of Super Mario 64 on its screen. Mario took the dive and saw himself in the polygonal world of Tick-tock Clock.

Normally, the place where he would enter would affect the clock's rate, but it appeared to be normal. Sounds of tick-tocks were all around Mario, and the cogs and arms made the place just as perilous to explore as it was years ago. It was no challenge to the versatile Mario though, he was jumping up and up through the clockworks like it was a platforming test. There was the swinging arm, the cogs that moved at sequences, and the stray bob-omb, but Mario cleared those obstacles quickly and found a TV screen awaiting him behind a blue thomp. He dodged underneath the stone enemy and took the jump.

Now he found himself at the top of Balllon Fighter Village's clock tower, and Mario got around to the clock itself, where it flung itself up to reveal a tank.

"This is a filler tank," explained Bill. "You can fill it with paint or thinner. Paint makes things go smoother. Thinner often throws a wrench into the works, sometimes it can be handy."

"I think I'll go with-a paint, just to be safe," said Mario.

So he filled it up with paint. A gate leading to the next TV screen opened up, and so did a latch concealing a hanafuda card.

"There's the gate over there!" said Bill.

"Wait a minute now," said Mario. "I gotta get that hanafuda card first!"

He nabbed the golden card and jumped through cheering crowds of balloon fighters to reach the gate. He took one last look at the cheeful, little people floating around in the air with their balloons, then he entered the TV screen to go to the second level of the Super Mario Bros world.

It was dark now, and Mario instantly knew that he was in the underground level of Super Mario Bros known as World 1-2. Blue and grey greeted him here, and so the plumber busted blocks, knocked goombas, and jumped over piranha plants to reach the pipe that would lead up to the top. There he scaled another stair case, jumped on another flag pole, and entered a castle to a TV screen.

...

Entering that TV screen took him to an enormous area of large Nintendo monuments that Mario identified on the spot. There was a replica of Princess Zelda's castle at first, a Russian palace made up entirely of Tetris blocks, and a coliseum that looked like something from Kid Icarus. There were also large dolls standing around that looked eeriely silmilar to Nintendo charcters like Link and Pit including big beams of colorful blocks that looked like tetrominoes suiting the colorful nature of the section.

"This-a place never fails to make go wow!" said Mario, shaking his head at it all.

"Those pillars look like they could fall with a sneeze!" said Bill, looking at a few pillars shaking like they were caught in the wind.

Mario decided to not even bother with those and walked around the fake Hyrule Castle. Boats were making their way around the body of thinner, but Mario was set on going up the impressive Tetris palace. Unfortunately, a mob of spatters dressed as Hylians spotted the plumber and gave pursuit. No one saw that the Mario character was taunting the main Mario from the coliseum, and he went away to escape the area. Mario fixed the gear platforms to reach a cloud, and the cloud took him to the top of the replica near the cones. There, Mario noticed that two sections of the palace had toon in them.

"Why, this can be thinned out!" said Bill. "That's not very safe!"

"Nope," said Mario. "But I-a got an idea!"

Using his thinner, Mario took out the toon spaces and the tallest cone of the palace fell off and landed with a tremendous crash over the thinner lake. It scattered tetris blocks everywhere, and Mario felt slightly guilty of ruining a perfectly good Tetris model, but it formed a bridge to the entrance to the coliseum.

"That-a worked out just fine, did it?" said Mario.

"For us, not the palace," said Bill. "Oh well, we're on a quest after all."

Running down the tetris bridge, Mario came to the gates of the coliseum and entered them. When he came in, the gates came to a resounding shut behind him, and Small Bowser's laugh rang out. The dressed koopa king was watching over on a high ledge, looking on Mario.

"Small Bowser," mumbled Mario. "I've-a got your log for you!"

He showed him the book and tossed it up to him. He caught it and hugged it close, knowing it was going to save him from anymore trouble.

"I've been waiting for you, Mario," said Small Bowser. "You did it! You managed to get my ship's log back! With this thing, I'll finally tell those balloon fighters the truth. I'll leave you alone now, but beware of my cousin over in Nin Street. He makes me look like a cuddly kitten! Goodbye!"

With a chuckle, Small Bowser walked away to heal relations with the Balloon Fighters. A gate opened to another TV screen, and Mario climbed the surrounding steps to the next level.

"That Small Bowser wasn't-a so bad," said Mario. "He is-a softer than the normal ole Bowser anyway!"

There was one other thing he did before he left. He went to an unlocked room full of hanafuda cards to collect, and collect he did. With his pockets all full, Mario went into the entrance where a TV screen awaited him, this time showing the third and final stage of the Super Mario Bros world. Taking the challenge, Mario jumped in and saw that he was on top of the tall mushrooms in the game.

"Boy, the athletic levels can be a chore," said Mario.

He took his time mastering every jump, avoding the usual goomba or koopa that would drop in from an above mushroom. There were also the moving platforms as they were in the game, and Mario carefully rode them across the blue expanse. Going through these TV screen levels made Mario feel happy and nostalgic, and it also reminded him how old he was. He put that thinking aside and focused on the oncoming castle. Taking the jump, he reveled the perfect hold on the flagpole, feeling like he should get a 1-Up mushroom but did not. The level clear music played once again as Mario went insid ethe castle and to another TV screen.

"Ready to face the Clock Tower, Mario?" asked Bill.

"A clock tower?" said Mario.

"Yeah, the Clock Tower," said Bill. "He's the guardian of the It's a Small Nintendo World ride. He used to be very friendly and kind until... well... go through the TV screen and see."

Mario, feeling slightly antsy, went through the TV screen and appeared in front of a seemingly happy-looking clock tower. It's face was a childish smile, but when it saw Mario, its face changed into a cringing look. The foundations of the tower rumbled, and two mechanical arms burst out. Mario felt disturbed looking at the huge, metal hands hanging over him.

"What's-a this supposed to be?" he cried.

Music was starting up from somewhere, and it sounded cheery yet warped. Mario looked behind and saw a line of the Nintendo characters he saw from all the sections he explored, and he turned back to the Clock Tower just in time to see it raise a fist over him. He swung to the side and narrowly avoided the crushing blow. Mario retaliated with a burst of paint, making a splatter on the mechanical hand before it could withdraw. Its other hand came up to slam Mario, but the speedy plumber dodged it just as well. The Clock Tower's eyes spun madly, and both hands and arms were raised over the area.

"I'm-a gonna fix your screws and bolts, Clock Tower!" exclaimed Mario.

He sprayed paint of both arms, andt they were beginning to turn blue. The Clock Tower was quickly losing patience and attacked Mario before he could even jump. He was knocked to side by the blow, but he contiued to defy its madness. A steady stream of paint rose to the left arm, covering it in blue. Dodging the next pound, he sprayed at the right arm, covering it in blue as well. The intensity of the fight was making Mario jumpy, and that was evident when he jumped over both arms as they came down, impressing the watching Bill.

"Go for both of the arms, Mario!" said Bill.

He saw that the two arms were exposed, and doused both of them in the blue paint. The one on the left began to shake and stop, and Mario used this opportunity to get at the other hand as it tried to crush him. Now it was totally covered in blue as well, and something unexpected happened. The hand laid down in front of Mario and appeared to offer Mario a ride. He was skeptical at first, but on thinking that it was going to revert back to its crazy self, he hopped on and it took him in front of the deranged face. That was when Mario began spraying paint all over the Clock Tower's face, and it gradually went back to the way that it was, like water cleaning a dirty car in a car wash. When he was done, the Clock Tower's happy face was back.

"Oh, what happened to me?" said the Clock Tower. "Oh, hello there Mario! Sorry about that."

Its hand descended down to the tower's base, where a door opened to show a TV screen. Mario jumped off and noticed that his brush felt stronger.

"Hey-a Bill, what's with my brush?" asked Mario.

"Your paint or thinner capacity can change depending on how you deal with important characters in Wasteland," explained Bill.

Satisified, the plumber entered the TV screen that would take him to a place called Nin Street, something that intrigued Mario.


End file.
